hi i hope you will read this
“hi i hope you will read this” is the title of this email that I got. Makes me feel so upset that kids are still going through this crap.
“hi my name is a ive been transitioning now ftm for 3 years, 2 years on t. pre op. im 20 years old. ive been watching all the it gets better videos and saw yours and it makes me cry because i know it wont get better for me. im a drug addict and last year i stole a bunch of ecstacy pills got caught, got put into female prison they pointed at my genitals and laughed told me i wasnt a man. i know im a man, but i get so much shit from court they just dont understand, and im on probation for 3 years and i have a really christian probation officer who always tries to blame my crime on my transition. EVERY single time i see her she makes some rude comment on how im some kind of freak and makes me take drug tests in front of her and makes rude comments. everyday i want to kill myself but i cant get myself to do it but i know it will eventually happen. i wish my life was better i wish i could be somebody not just some criminal because that is not who i am. i want to leave this shit state and i cant. i have a lot of passions but no motivation too presue them. im stuck in a town full of drugs addicts and i want to get out so badly but i cant, i need to save money for tops surgery, i have no job, no one will hire me cause of my background and the way i dress. they keep saying it will get better but what do i have to do to change things? ive tried so hard but i cant fix anything if anything i make everything worse. you are amazing, i wish i could be like you someday.”
This is what I sent him:
Thank you for writing me. I am sure it was not an easy email to send. You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger, I tell you that so you can see that it does get better, But you have to want it to get better. You have to get sober and realize that drugs and alcohol are not something that you can do. When you first take that step to getting your body clean that will open you mind to a clearer thought process. I know this because that’s what I did. I didn’t even start to transition until after I got clean and sober.
Please report that probation officer to someone there. You DO NOT have to deal with that crap. She works for the state and there are laws against harassment. Go to your local GBLTQ center or somewhere like that and talk to someone who can help you. You need to get some professional help. I am not a professional and think that this is the best way for you start feeling good about yourself.
I know you can do it. Just think of me when you are feeling down and remember I did it. I picked myself up from the gutter and made a great life for myself and you can too!
Please keep in touch I would like to know how your doing.
WOOF!!
Buck Angel®
Pioneering Filmmaker, Educator, and Advocate
How Do I Act Like A Man
Ok so this email was something that I found very interesting. It really shows how people feel a need to conform to what makes you a man and what makes you a woman.
Also a subject I find very interesting and that many people are divided on. Drag Kings. I do not understand how you can be a transsexual man and still perform drag?? Anyway read on….
“Dear Buck,
My name is A I am 23 and a Trans-gendered male. I have only been out officially for around a year now.
I hid my feelings out of fear due to fear of loosing friends & family. Now thats not what I wrote to you about.
What I wrote to you about is a little advice and honestly, I would love to see you possibly use this in a post on your fb or tumbler.
I am working on transitioning my wardrobe over from female to male. Now my style is goth/rocker.
But I keep getting told that I can’t wear eyeliner, or do certain things cause I am suppose to be as BUTCH as possible.
But I look around me at every day men, and some of them wear eyeliner, paint their nails black, have alot of piercings,etc. and they aren’t girly about it. Look at the group from finland The 69 Eyes, they are older guys and they do it.
Is it to girly to look goth for men? Is there things that you know I could do with this style but butch it.
Also, I am having trouble getting over the female manurisims, squealing, laughing loudly, when I perform on stage (I am a drag king to) I have alot of dramatic hand and arm gestures and I walk or more like strut. I love to give the audience what they want. Ya know? Your a man of the entertainment industry.
But is their any advice you can give me to use during my change to maybe help these issues? Please?
Thank you.
a big fan,
A”
Hi A,
Thank you so much for your email.
So I don’t get it? You are worried what people think about you? That is YOUR style man. Wear it with pride. Screw what those other say to you. If I cared what everyone thought about me I would have stopped doing what I am doing and gone back into hiding. The point I am trying to make here is be yourself. That is the message that I am spreading. There is no right or wrong way to dress or be a man! I have a vagina and I am a man, Though many would say I am still a woman, You can see that is far from the truth.
Be an individual!! Do not conform to what others want you to be!
Now being a “Drag King” and performing is totally something different. That is being on stage and acting. Practice your walking and mannerisms at home until you get what you want for the show.
This is one thing that I have been very out spoken about. I do not see how you can be a transgendered man and still perform as a “Drag King”. This is the definition of a “Drag King”: drag performers include drag kings, who are women who perform in male roles. So if you are no longer a woman then you cannot be a drag king. Also you are now living as a man so isn’t that how you want the world to see you, Not like it is just something your doing for fun.
I hope this helps you let me know how your doing!
WOOF!!
Buck Angel®
Pioneering Filmmaker, Educator, and Advocate
Women and HIV PSA
This is Rebekka Armstrong. She is a Playboy Playmate. I am her Dad. She is awesome. She also has AIDS.
SAFE BODY ART PSA
Here is a new PSA I did for my company. I love doing these. It really makes me feel like I am doing something positive for stuff that does not get lots of exposure.
Buck Angel Films
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