Buck Angel

Posts Tagged ‘transgender’

Today I got an amazing email!!

Dear, Buck

You’ve been such an inspiration to my son who is also a female to male transexual. It would mean so much to me if you could send an autographed photograph to:

XXX

He has been such a struggle, it has costed so much money to make him happy and sometimes there was lots of doubt wether this was the right decision but you, buck was always there for him and has been a major impact on his life. Thanks for everything you’ve done for us. I hope you can get back to us soon, because it would mean so much.

Yours Truely,
(Mother of Kristian)

My trip to speak at YALE was so great. The minute I got there the girls from SWAY (SEX WEEK AT YALE) had a car waiting for me at the airport to take to 2 hour drive to CT. Once there the girls met me at the school to show me my private room on campus at the Masters College. Already I was feeling like a king.

It was freezing and thank god I had just bought a new down jkt. Amazing the gym was right next to my room and was fully equiped to give me a killer workout. I was a bit nervous as I was speaking at the Master’s house in front of students and professors.

Master's Suite at YALE

So after finally having a couple days to rest and feel grounded. It was time to do my talk. Before the talk Master G had me over for a lunch with him and some of the students.I had been getting some threats on my visit to YALE so just to be on the safe side the school had police outside of every event. I just could not believe how I effect people so much they go as far as to threaten me!

After that it was time for the talk and as I walked from the dining room into the living room where it was jammed packed with not one bit of walking room. WOW I was so overwhelmed.

Master Tea Poster

I sat down in front of the students and Master G and I were seated in front in chairs facing everyone. It was basically a very informal story telling time. All eyes on me no time to get shy!!

My talk started with a thank you to Master G and the fellow students for having me at Yale to speak as I was very honored to be there. I had not graduated high school so in all my wildest dreams I would have never thought I would be speaking at Yale.

Speaking at Master's Tea

After the thanks I started with talking about my childhood and how it was not a bad one and that it is important for people to know that I did not come from a bad childhood and thus that is not why I do what I do or who I am. Then I basically went through my whole life story, My drug addiction, suicide attempts, self hatred into becoming the man I am. I think I really made such an impact on people at the talk. They were so attentive and just so interested in my story it was so powerful for me!

Then I showed and episode of BUCKING THE SYSTEM and after opened it up to Q&A. Got all amazing questions from everyone. Then after had people lined up to take pics with me and say thank you.

Later that night I was on a Sex Panel with all the hottest women in porn! Joanna Angel, Tristan Taramino, Madison Young and Sasha Grey. It was moderated by my good friend and editor of Fleshbot Lux Alptrum. The panel discussion was centered around our work and how we are breaking down the norms of waht people think are porn and sexuality and gender. Great panel.

Sex and Gender Panel at YALE

What an amazing life I have:)

Check out some of the other posts made about my trip to YALE. Not everyone thought it was a good idea! But that was why it was so powerful for me to speak there. I have broken down some of the walls and hatred that people have around people like me.

http://www.homo-neurotic.com/2010/02/19/ftm-porn-star-buck-angel-speaks-yale/

http://www.midnightatyale.com/2010/02/more-than-your-average-transsexual-porn.html

http://www.yaledailynews.com/news/university-news/2010/02/15/transgender-porn-star-shares-story/

WOOF!!

Buck

While in Los Angeles I was asked to the studio of the radio station KPFK to do an interview. The studio has been around since the 40’s so there is so much history there. The show is a GBLT show that airs every Monday night 7-8pm called “I am are you” Here is the link to the show and my interview starts about half way in. But listen to the whole show as it’s great!!

http://archive.kpfk.org/parchive/mp3/kpfk_091130_190030imru.MP3

Off to the Tyra Banks Show I will post that as soon as I return and find out when it will air!

WOOF!!

Buck

Well last week I was in Edmonton for the Exposure Festival. It was a amazing to say the least. The film I put together for the venue was so well recieved it got two standing ovations. I was blown away.

You know when you are editing a piece for a festival you are always nervous how it will be perceived and so I had to walk away from it becauseI just kept editing it more and more.

Edmonton Queer Arts Fest

I had tons of great press while there as well. Here ar lots of links to the articles..

XTRA

VUE WEEKLY

JACKSON BLOG

EXPOSURE FESTIVAL

SEE MAGAZINE

GAY CALGARY

Just on last thing! Go to Edmonton if you ever have the chance. The people are amazing and a nice change of pace!!

WOOF!!

Buck Angel

He is one of the most famous porn stars in the world with an impressive collection of films under his belt. He has been photographed and captured by many artists worldwide. He is ruggedly handsome, layered in stunning tattoos and his pierced sexy muscled body is a stunning example of manhood. But there are plenty more other reasons why Californian born Buck Angel is so captivating and fascinating. Buck is a self made man like no other. He was born and raised as Susan.

“A lot of people ask me what it was like growing up as a girl… it’s funny because I was never raised that way,” says Buck.

“I was a tomboy. I wore boys clothes and played outside a lot. Everyone always treated me like a boy growing up so always felt I was one.”

Susan was tall, beautiful, athletic and graceful. She was a star athlete, excelling in track and field sports. She also had a promising career as a professional model that saw her going overseas to Europe and the UK. But all of those opportunities were slowly destroyed with the gradual onset of puberty, which was totally traumatic for her.

“All those hormones rushed around my body, which quickly started to change and I began menstruating. I grew breasts. I felt this utter disconnection from my body, which really didn’t feel like mine anymore. What was happening within my body didn’t match up with how I saw myself.”

People also changed the way they treated Susan. She was always attracted to girls and suddenly she was expected to like boys, wear dresses and expected to be and act like a girl – something that felt quite foreign.

“What was worse was that I felt so alone in all of that. I couldn’t express myself or my feelings to anyone else. You have to understand that it was a very different time… people weren’t understanding of ‘gay’ let alone ‘transsexual’. Everyone else seemed at ease and perfectly happy with what was going on with their bodies. I was really depressed and I went inside myself. I started acting out and becoming incredibly self destructive… but I didn’t know what else to do.”

Susan started drinking heavily, using drugs, and acting out in self-destructive ways. Her distraught parents helped her get into an expensive $30,000 rehab center where she was pampered while being given a chance to beat her addictions. It didn’t work too well, and within days of being out of the program, she was using drugs again. Her parents had enough, and kicked her out of home. It was something that Buck says needed to happen.

Luckily androgyny was in style, and with Susan’s gorgeous face and tall lean body she easily scored modeling gigs, gaining opportunities to travel overseas to Europe and the UK. It was a good excuse to run away, but still Susan couldn’t leave behind the battle going on inside. Everyone around her said that he had what it took to become a supermodel. It wasn’t long before the drugs, alcohol and her behaviour was out of control again and she was sent packing back to the US.

Homeless, living on the streets, hustling and prostituting to get by, Susan hit rock bottom. She was sent to another rehab program.

“This was a community rehab center for those on the edge, and it was really hard but the best thing that could have happened to me. The program made me take responsibility for my life and my actions. It also helped me realise where my real issues lay… it made me face and accept that I am a man,” says Buck.

With the program complete, Susan started officially living as a man. He got a job working in a warehouse; he got a girlfriend and started rebuilding his life. But it wasn’t till the fateful day when he came across the film Gendernauts that featured a female to male transsexual, that Buck realised that he needed to start the process of becoming a man, not just psychologically but physically.

“You’ve gotta understand that it was a very different time I lived in when I was going through all this. No one even knew female to male sex change surgery was even an option, especially me.”

You can imagine how much the realisation of that possibility changed my life! No one I knew had done it… and then I saw that amazing movie.”

Buck Angel’s body was at least ten years in the making – a slow, thought out and planned regimen of transformation that included psychiatry, hormones, surgery and a hell of a lot of gym sessions. Buck was in no rush, taking plenty of time to properly research and inquire about his options. Finding the right professional for each step with the right caring nurturing attitude was essential, but even then there were limitations.

“Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a total perfectionist. I mean, just look at my body, my chest surgery. Even looking at the latest surgical developments don’t really offer anything close to a real penis. There are often many complications, risk of infections after surgery, severe scaring and after all that, they aren’t that big. My toys are way better!” he laughs. “What I’ve got works perfectly and it gives me lots of options. I decided to keep my vagina. I’m still a man… just a man with a pussy.”

Is a man with a vagina still a man? Buck is quick to share his perspective on that.

“What is a man? If a man loses his genitals in say a car accident, are you not a man anymore? Of course you are. Being a man is more about what’s in your head than what your body looks like.”

The whole idea of transsexuals is largely an abstract concept to most people, many of whom have probably never consciously met a transsexual. The reason that Buck Angel is so challenging is that he makes those concepts real, and by his very existence throws our narrow definitions of gender into question. What is a man? How do you know you are one? What if you’re attracted to him – what does that make you?

Given that the gay and lesbian, transsexual and porn communities are often so marginalised and ostracised, you’d expect that Buck Angel would find acceptance or at least understanding there, but nothing could be further from the truth.

“Nearly all my lesbian friends disowned and rejected me during and after my change. They saw it as me rejecting my womanhood and lesbian sexuality… and they took that very personally. They were fine with me dressing butch, getting tatts and strapping down my breasts, but once it came to hormones and surgery it was a whole different story. I quickly learned who my real friends were, but that was a very isolating experience.

“To many of the trans activists, at least the ones in the States, I’m held up as an example of what not to be, and I’ve personally witnessed situations where some very nasty personal things have been said about me… painful, uninformed and hurtful things. They might show stills or clips from my movies and cast judgment, totally without context or without ever allowing me the right to share my perspective. It’s unfair and it’s a real shame too, because my point of view is valid.”

And then there was the porn industry that in the beginning was terrified of what Buck Angel represented. Studios and individuals simply refused to work with Buck initially. Buck wasn’t just a trans man who liked women, but also ‘loves being fucked by men’. There wasn’t really anyone out there like him and that was challenging. But in porn, money talks.

While working as a warehouse worker, Buck also found an interest in the Internet and web design. With his very supportive girlfriend, he started his own porn website which at first featured still images of himself and then eventually small amateur movies. So successful was the site that it brought enough attention to score a 12-picture deal with a porn studio; the first female to male transgender porn star to be signed up to a major studio. He made Cirque Noir with big gay porn studio Titan Men becoming the first transsexual to ever appear in one of their films. He also started creating his own films and online video content that has done outstandingly well. Films like Buckback Mountain, V For Vagina and Bang For Your Buck.

It wasn’t too long before the industry realised that a huge market that existed for the kind of porn that Buck was making and before long he had amounted a substantial filmography. It was also apparent that he was a brilliant performer. In 2007 Buck Angel was not only nominated for Transsexual performer of the year, but he actually took out the title. It was a proud day for Buck Angel.

Since that fateful award win, his career highlights include being a special guest at the infamous Black Party and being a performer in Stairway To Hell for the Jim Rose Circus. Buck has also been captured by various artists and photographers internationally. US photographer Joe Oppedisano captured an amazing image of Buck that he included in his publication Testosterone. When publishers said they did not want the image of Buck Angel in Testosterone, Oppedisano apparently said ‘either the picture stays or there will be no book’.

Buck is also one of 12 enigmatic people, including singer Michael Jackson and model Kate Moss, to have their entire body cast in gold by UK artist Marc Quinn. He has been interviewed by publications worldwide and has been a guest on countless television shows including talk show Maury Povich. Buck Angel is a phenomenon with legions of fans around the world, especially in Australia where he hopes to visit soon.

“It has always been a dream of mine to come to Australia. That is definitely something that I’d like to do soon. I have so many fans there… in fact it’s one of my biggest fan bases in the world,” says Buck. “I get the impression that you Aussies really understand where I’m coming from. I’d love to do Mardi Gras! It looks so amazing and I’d love to be a part of that.”

It’s the day before Buck’s birthday, and he ends the interview by reflecting on his life so far, and the wisdom he’s gathered along the way.

“You need to live your life on your terms, and not let other people tell you what’s right for you. You know what feels right for you. If people reading your article walk away with anything, I hope it’s that message.”

My trip to NYC is always fun. I love the city because it is so different than where I live in mexico and the people of NY are always so good to me. I flew in on thursday to perform at the BOX. I was in Los Angeles before to do some business and see family. I also started to do CrossFit. It’s this new way of working out that is pretty amazing. I love going to the gym to pump weights but feel like I needed something new as my body is stuck and not really changing like I would like. So now I am fixing up my gym here to do more CrossFit along with my Yoga.

Saturday night before Gay Pride Sunday I did a couple hours hosting of open bar at the FWORD club in NYC. Formika and Jasper James were the hosts. I had such a great time and lots of fans came to see me. The one thing that I really loved was to see how diverse my fan base is becoming. There were all these girls who were so excited to see me and take photos with me.

Jasper James,Me and Formika

Lux from Fleshbot came to see me and so did my friend Andi and Caleb. It was great to hang out with them. After I took Lux with me to my performance at the BOX.

Me and Lux from Fleshbot

Andi is a very old friend of mine and she is also the lead singer for the punkrock band Snap-Her. Her music is on my film V for Vagina. She rocks!!

Caleb, me and Andi

My buddies James P and Bryan who DJ in NYC love wearing my shirt to spin in. They sent me this photo of them spinning on saturday night. I love this T-shirt. Check out my shop to purchase it.

Bryan and James P

This artist in NYC sent me this painting he did of me minus my tattoos. It’s cool but I do like my body better with tattoos. What about you?

Buck Angel art!

So now I am back home in Mexico working on my next trip. I will be going to Smitten Kitten in Minn. to do a workshop and DVD signing. They are working on getting me a performance in a club as well. Looks like I have a pretty big fan base there. Who knew?? That is awesome.

I have also just been contacted by some Gay party promoters in Barcelona Spain to perform August 1. That sounds amazing as I have never been to Barcelona.

WOOF!!

Buck Angel

I get lots of really cool emails everyday but some stand out more than others. This is a guy who has contacted me regarding my impact on him and wanting to be a porn star like me. The interesting thing is he was born bio male and is now going to Thailand to have his cock removed and a pussy put on so he can be the man he always wanted to be, a man like me.

So I have decided to cast him in a new film. He will be the first bio man with a pussy in porn. I am very excited as I know there are many men who feel like him and I have helped to open that door for them. I think there is a place for this type of man in pron and who better to bring the first man like this to porn but Buck Angel Entertainment.

Below is the email I received from him:

Hello Buck,

I wanted to tell you that you have a great site. Your look is unique and you look to have a successful career in doing this type of work.

I wanted to contact you and just talk briefly for a few moments…

Ever since I was young, I have always been an admirer of the transgendered lifestyle. Recently, (this month) I finally am going to take the plunge. I scheduled to have surgery in Thailand with Dr. Pichet for SRS. I am going to have everything removed below and have have Dr. Pichet create a vagina. The thing is I am going to live as a man…with a pussy. I have everything scheduled for March 20th, 2009. I am looking forward to being “free” down below, but living as a normally do now.

I have been looking at what it would take to generate an income with the type of website and performances you do. I find the lifestyle great and fun to be around.

For the most part I just wanted to tell you that you have been an inspiration.

For the record, I am a college-educated guy with a 4 year university degree in Business Admin. I do okay for salary ($70,000) and currently started a web development company. So, my point is that I have a good head on my shoulder and understand the direction I am going. At 35, this is the change I have needed.

I am attaching a pic so you can see…maybe we will meet some day in this business.

Take care and thank you for listening

Kindest regards