To Buck: a letter of appriciation

August 30, 2010 · Posted in POSTS · Comment 

Lately I have been getting more and more of these kinds of emails. It really makes me so happy that I could be such a positive influence to people. I really feel this strength and power in my message grow everyday. I am sharing this one with you that I received today.

Dear Buck,

I just wanted to say that first off, you’re an amazing person. I’ve known about you for several years now, but only recently did I decide to look up your Wiki and watch some of your videos on Youtube. I want to say: THANK YOU. Thank you for doing what you do – for being so tremendously brave and intelligent and compassionate.

I am a 24 year old trans man from Texas. I was finally able to begin medical transition 5 months ago. My whole life, I was upset by my sexuality. Ever since I was a kid I hated what was “down there” but could never explain why. I never touched myself there without being covered up and mostly I pretended I would someday grow a penis. This was how I got by for the longest time.

Then I came across you. Hearing your inspirational words, and hearing you talk about how you love your body, was like some kind of divine revelation to me. It was the first time I had ever come across someone so loving towards themselves. I come from feminist circles, and they’re always talking about self-love, but you hardly ever see that kind of thinking actually being realized. Here is a trans man, totally at ease with his body! It made me really begin to look deeply into my heart. I actively began to try and love my body more.

Then T started doing crazy things to me, and my sex drive went through the roof (and still is!) Suddenly I began to feel compelled to explore my body lovingly, and for the first time in my life, I am actually at peace with not having a penis. It feels so ironic, that now I am in transition, I am more comfortable with what I “lack” than ever before!

I’m sorry this is turning into a long letter. Buck, thank you. Thank you for helping me be brave, and giving me self-confidence. You also helped me see that when I transition, people will still find me attractive. (I had a crippling fear that nobody would ever want to sleep with me after transition, and I know this is bologna now!) Thank you also for your PSA messages. I had unfortunately been putting off getting gynecological check ups for a while due to dysphoria, but you gave me a little push and now I’m getting an appointment set up.

Thank you for everything Buck. You are an amazing guy and you give people like me hope everyday.

Sending you lots of love and admiration,